I had a settlement conference yesterday.  It is the dissolving of a 46-year-old marriage.  There is about a million dollars or more at stake.  On top of that there is a $10,000.00 monthly income that has to be divided.

The court is going to chop the million in two.  The court is going to chop the $10,000.00 in two.

It is really basic simple math.  The really good divorce attorney knows this.  To continue to fight over dishes, mink coats, guns, and antique model cars is really only for the divorce attorney’s pocket book. 

The devil on my shoulder is telling me I should take this opportunity to splash some more gas on this case so I can generate more firm revenue.  Most attorneys having to put three children through college would.  Most attorneys wanting a Lexus, Porshe, or BMW would. 

I drive a 2003 Toyota Corolla.  

My soul can’t do it.  I am not that kind of person.  I know they have one adult child and grandchildren.  These people should be taking exotic trips together.  They are too old not to.  They should be having sloppy, horrible, old people sex.  They should be finishing each other’s sentences.  She should be warming up his cold cup of coffee.  He should go out and buy her a nice pair of diamond earrings.  They should go on an old people’s cruise.  They should be watching t.v. together and falling asleep in matching dual lazy boy chairs.

I know the source of their breakup in less than 10 minutes of banter and talk with my client.  Out of this discussion his emotional vomit is all over me.  I had to take a hot shower when I got home.

I felt that dirty.

In this shower I  say a prayer to the divine out loud:   “Please do not let me ever love money more than I do another person.”

It is really that simple.  You cannot take that cash with you.  Do you people really not know this?  Tell your significant other you love them.  Spoil them.  Shower them with thank you notes.  Give them gifts.  Take them on trips.  Be in the world together.  Go out for expensive dinners.  Do charity work together.  Spend it.  Save some of it.  Then spend what you save.

Sitting home and hoarding cash, screaming about money when you have a million of it, and refusing to take a cruise?

I guess I shouldn’t complain.  It’s the best paying case I have on our firm docket.