I am spinning my wheels. 

I have the house project, the divorce book project, my novel project, my software project, and this blog project.

They are all in different stages.  None of my projects are getting done fast enough. 
If I work too long on one project I get sick of it and switch my time and focus.

There are two sides to this:

(I confess to you that I am secretly afraid none of them are going to get done)

I know myself and they all will get done.


I remember a quote from a book I read (I just don’t remember the author) 

Something about focus and how it can be like a burning laser.

I determine that I am a rotating disco ball. 
Light pockets of energy flashing……. in a circle………on a wall.

I wonder if I am trying to sabotage myself for some hidden reason.

I throw up my hands.
This is my nature.  I have always been like this.  I can’t dissect this from myself. 
I think some of this taints and ruins my romantic relationships. 
It drives my parents nuts.
I am infecting my girls.
I am either adored or hated for this trait.

The personal push and pull for space between individuals is never quite right. 
My need to be crazy busy.
Not sure what to do with my thoughts in a lull.
Then I will crash and sleep for hours.
I get distracted with my thoughts when people talk to me.

I analyze myself:

In high school it was all honors classes, four different sports, a year in Spain, a Dan Jaskiewicz sports trophy and a Sweet Heart Crown.

In college it was travel tennis.  A trip to Nationals in Tempe, Arizona and a day trip to Mexico.  I was working on the college newspaper, working part-time, being part of the diversity club and taking full-time classes.

At Michigan it was working two jobs, taking a full course load, going to Seville and doing whatever was necessary to salsa dance all night long while trying to score all A’s with my best friend Melissa.

In law school it was running an in home business, owning and managing four rental properties, taking a full course load, and playing the stock market.  There was a scholarship and another big award.  There was Law Review and the Cooley Clinic. 

After law school it was becoming a partner in my own firm.   I cajoled my partner into a real estate deal.  My goal to continually improve our financial bottom line.  At times my partner would voice his displeasure at my need for more risk. 

(Today it looks like my pushing the envelope will pay big for him but he always reminds me we are not out of the woods yet). 

My frustration is that I need to eat and sleep.

I have to make myself go have fun because I know I will suffer burn out.
When my friends text me I go.  So it’s bowling on Monday’s at the Clique.  It’s tennis in Standale on Saturday.  I love and adore them.  I know I need these breaks. 

I am torn and distracted.


I work on surrounding myself with experts in different fields. 

I have a contractor that is going to help with the home.
I found a tree cutter who needs legal services and it appears we are going to barter.
I have a published author that is my mentor for the divorce book project.
I have family and friends helping me with my novel project.
I have found a programmer that will look at the software project.
I am surrounded by website and blog experts.

I am assembling a team.

All these people seem to genuinely want to help me and want me to succeed. 
If I succeed I know this will benefit others I really care about. 
If I don’t succeed I will keep trying until I do.

It’s me.  It’s my nature.  I still am irritated that none of it is going fast enough.