This week I am focusing on eating better and working out more.  The summer off from carb counts, cardio machines, and Olympic level guilt trips was delightful until I tried to put on pants instead of capris.  When they wouldn’t button I knew I had to take drastic action.

 

I can’t go to the bar three nights a week for bar food and a couple beers.  I can’t wander up the street from the office to grab an ice cream every other day.  The candy jar on the front counter? No more swiping Milky Ways throughout the day.

 

I will return to the gym and get back to 6-8 hours every week, mixing up my cardio with my weights.  I will cajole myself into downward facing dogs even though I hate every second of them just because it feels so good when I am done.

 

But I have to start somewhere.  I used the weekend to say good bye to my favorite foods.  I ate more fruits and vegetables, but I also savored the majority of a pack of double stuf Oreos.  They were delicious.

 

And today I packed extra food for work.  We usually eat a healthy breakfast and lunch (unless I decide I’ve earned tacos or something else guaranteed to fluff my muffin top).  But when I get hungry or bored I snack, and the snacks haven’t been the healthiest.

 

So today I made sure I had healthy snacks, including an oatmeal-almond-honey-yogurt-berry parfait.  I ate every bite.  I made it through my day without eating any junk.  I know my body well enough to know that starving it will get me nowhere.  I need to stuff it with celery sticks and peaches until the sweets and fried foods stop calling my name.  After a week or two the cravings stop and eating healthy is the only thing that makes sense.

 

I thought about how I “trick” my body into changing the way it eats, and I started thinking that maybe I have to “trick” my body into changing the way it thinks.  Maybe if I let myself go crazy with healthy decisions – time with supportive friends, more books, random solitary evenings, frequent resume send outs – the unhealthy things will just get crowded out, and after a while I’ll stop giving in to the thoughts that pull me under.

 

I’m going to give it a try.  How bad can it be?  The only question is which bad decisions I will say goodbye to this weekend.