I haven’t really felt like writing on this blog over the past few weeks.  Perhaps that is a good thing.  My soul doesn’t seem to hurt like it use to.  I have other projects that I have been spending hundreds of hours on and they are starting to take on a shape and form. 

This has been very exciting for me.

I am still spending numerous hours on my client files.  I met someone today that has six DUIs and lived at a mission.  He is only a few years older than myself.  He is highly educated but he feels no joy for his work.  He filled his holes with alcohol at the expense of his family.  He says he is better and won’t relapse.  I don’t believe his words but I hope they are true ones.  
He is bent on defining his ex-wife.  What she should and should not do.

I have so many thoughts on the current controversy concerning women having the right to birth control and their right to have an abortion.  Their sexual freedom. 
I find it funny that it is mostly men that want to make this decision for them.

I told my father the other day, “I thank the divine everyday that I wasn’t a woman born in the 1800s and that I wasn’t born a slave.”

Why are men so afraid to allow a woman this freedom?  Why does it strike such a nerve?

The right to decide to be a mother and when.  The right to decide the father of the child.
(We all know the decision to have sex is not the same as deciding to get pregnant)
Why do men scoff and shake the Bible.  Why deny the right for a woman to have sex as much as she wants with whomever she chooses.

Why are these men fighting to take this decision away?  What is their motivation? 
(Why did the white men want to keep Fredrick Douglass from learning to read or write?)

You want us to believe it is really about the right of an unborn baby when we have thousands upon thousands of children in orphanages and foster care?
Nobody has the right to define me without my consent.   I have my own rules.  I don’t have the right to define someone else.  I choose whom I want to be.  I chose the when and the where.  If I want to be a CEO, become a doctor, join the military, or be a stay-at-home mother I should have the right to decide.   I make it happen.  I decide how many children are going to grow in my body.  I chose the father I want for them.  If I change my mind and don’t want to be married or linked to their father I have the right to leave him without him trying to kill them or me.

Society and men do not have the right to tell me what to do or what to be.  They do not have the right to place a value on who I am and what I want to do.   

They keep trying.  I am fighting back.  You stupid and weak women (they use your nature of goodness and nurturing against you). 

He secretly tapes women having sex with him without their knowledge.   It is not a consensual taping.  He does this with numerous women.  He lures them into a dating relationship.  They have expectations of a sincere romance and he uses it against them to feed his sickness.

Another man lures her into his hotel room for after dinner drinks.  When she changes her mind and asks to leave he violates her.

She has a daughter age 12.  He dates her to get to her daughter.  When she is at work he continues to violate the child until the child tries to kill herself.

He calls her a cunt and a lazy bitch because she wants to stay home and mother their children.  So when she decides to get a law degree he calls her a cunt and a lazy bitch and a horrible mother because she is working and never home.

Amy says there are good men out there.  O.K. I do have a few good men surrounding me.  These men are rare and hard to find.  I see examples of the bad ones in the news, in the courtroom, and in my personal experiences.  Who would want to have their child?  Who would want to marry them?  Who would want to be their wife and mother their children?  Men who refuse to pay child support for years and years (just go down to any circuit court on a show cause day).  They drink, gamble, hit their wives, sleep with prostitutes, generate non-consensual sex tapes, quit their jobs so they won’t have to pay child support, verbally abuse, mislead and rape.

You fraudulent fucks.  Lacking in any decency, strength and character. 
You don’t think we can’t figure you out? 

I see you.  I totally understand and get it.

I am reminded by a very intelligent friend, “Jodi… and we live in polite society.”

Darwin is why we have the pills. 

Maybe that’s why they are afraid.

My rules.  I decide.