I recently saw this lovely blog post of a woman who is 37 years old and wrote to her 17 year old self.  I was inspired to write to my 12 year old self since I recently turned 32.

 

Dear 12 year old Dani,

I have to say you are one amazing kid.  I think deep down you always knew you were special, and the dreams that you have now, you will still have when you’re in your 30’s, such as, traveling the world, becoming a stripper, being a millionaire, having several boyfriends.   However, here’s a few things that won’t happen.  You won’t join the military and attend the U.S. Naval Academy.  You will have washed that dream away by chasing some loser boyfriend around which will last for a measly 4 months, and it will take over a year to get over what you will call, heartache, to realize you were so much better than someone who gives two shits about himself.  Plus, you’re going to realize that you don’t particularly like being told what to do which is the main reason why the military won’t workout.

You’ll sleep with several guys whom a few have a small penis.  Surprisingly, one night you will meet a guy that proves that size doesn’t matter, but don’t worry, this is not the guy you marry.  The guy you marry will come as a total surprise.  His wallet is small, however, his penis is not, but you’ll realize that you both are good friends, and that’s what counts anyways….and having an amazing penis.

My birthday cake.

Let’s have the D and A talk.  Smoking pot and drinking booze really isn’t all that bad.  It’s actually quite fun.  Just DON’T EVER, EVER DRINK AND DRIVE!!  You’ll do it a couple of times, but you will be super grateful that nothing bad has ever come from it, which makes you a super lucky girl, and there is a reason why you belong to this beautiful, giving place called Earth.  You will also partake in Ecstasy, in which I call, TinkerBell’s Turd.   It’s going to be the most dangerous drug you will ever consume, but you won’t do it often….Thank God.  Seriously, no worries.  You can count on one hand how many times you do it.  Just look out for the rolls of Mentos you eat.  The canker sores are going to be a real bitch.

Going to see Roger Waters Live at the Van Andel Arena is actually quite boring, and you will wish you would have taken the Shrooms that was offered to you, but you won’t  because your’e a pussy, and you went in the name of love.   It will be well worth it in the end.

Losing your parents will be two of the most difficult things you will ever experience, but it will most defintely make you a better person from it.

Pissing $18,000 away will be the dumbest thing you ever do.  Idiot!

Cutting your own hair while intoxicated will be the second dumbest thing you will ever do!

Finding a cute, blonde dog you named, Timber, will save your soul.  Even though you will only keep him for a few weeks.

Cleaning the closet from your life is a good thing.  You will go all about it in a shitty way, but you’re not a horrible person for doing it.  As a matter of fact, it will make you realize what’s good for your heart and what will make it grow.  Friends are like plants, if it’s dying, there is no need to keep feeding it.

Trust me,  you will get fatter.

Dislocating your patella is going to hurt…..really bad.

I will say that I am so proud of you for still being a huge animal lover.  Your love for little creatures will not go away, and that’s a great thing!!

Depression is a bitch…and it’s not good for your skin…..or your clothes.

You will consider participating in a triathlon more than you will consider jumping out of a plane with a parachute.

You will never hate chocolate no matter how happy or sad you really are.

You are going to LOVE to shoot people….with a camera!

You are meant to hop islands.  You were born in one. You will bike all the way around one.  You will get married in one.  And your relatives (sorry to spoil the surprise, but you’ll be surprised none the less) live in different ones.

Publicly urinating will always be hilarious but you’ll eventually be embarrassed you keep doing it especially in your 30’s.  Please, don’t ever get caught!!  You will pee in the woods while a Doe is watching you…and it will be kinda awesome.

The best place to be is on a tube, in a river, drinking a nice cold beer.  Strangely, it makes you feel closer to God.

Speaking of God, your relationship will change with him over the years, and you will feel differently about him over many different times in your life, but you will eventually see something beautiful in it, and your heart will feel like being on a tube, in a river drinking a beer.

You are going to end up surrounding yourself with some amazing people who make your heart warm, and inspire you to be a better person everyday.  It has to do with the closet cleaning I mentioned earlier.  Once you’ve done the cleaning, you’ll become an Awesome Magnet.  So much so, you will find people you never thought were missing in the first place.  Missing from your life, that is.

To sum it up, your next 20 years is really a roller coaster.  Some times it’s up.  Sometimes it’s down.  Sometimes it dark.  Most of the time the sun will beat on your face you’re scared, anxious, and happy all at the same time.  And even though the ride is way too quick, you’re going to want to stay on.

I love you very much, 12 year old Dani.  You are amazing and beautiful and annoying in so many ways.  Don’t ever stop being loud, and keep laughing louder.  Don’t quit dancing, and keep dancing until your legs hurt, especially, in a banana suit.  Most importantly, make sure your Hug Box stays EMPTY….empty means you’ve been giving plenty of them out.

 

I love you with all my heart.

32 Year Old Dani

 

P.S.  Don’t forget to clean the cat box and lock the doors.